What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
