i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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