It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize