I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I can't turn off my feet"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
