Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
