just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
