Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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