Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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