Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
