I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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