he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
