I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
how drunk are you?
Several
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
