There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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