Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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