First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The air taste purple.
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