I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize