Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
