I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
