This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
