his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
