So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
sex in a hospital.. check
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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