dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize