just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
