oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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