Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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