I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
