Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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