You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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