I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
