he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
