bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
