you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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