In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
