I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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