So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
