Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
