we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
