Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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