I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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