You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
