why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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