kristin has been a bad kristin
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
