She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
birth control should be required to get into college
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
