i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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