I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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