I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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