Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
