I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
