SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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