Is it because I queefed?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
