so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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