Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
