your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
