he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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