my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
