Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
