I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
