u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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