Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize