and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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