hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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