Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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