Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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