she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Barsexuality is the new black.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
