Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
