I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
