I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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