apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you win again, gameday.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize